measuring

since the fracture, my running had been limited to spurts of progression. i was keeping it flat. allowing the tissue around the heel to reform and get used to rigors of running. i hadn't been to my trails on foot. i was scared of the instability and i had been advised against rushing back into the singletrack. today, after hitting a few other markers and milestones. the sun was out on a rare eugene winter day. i decided it was time.

i was nervous. virginity nervous. curiosity about how it was going to turn out. i had decided against working in some possible alternatives or bail outs. the mind was positive and forward thinking. the mind of the injured athlete is hypersensitive and full of demons. we step gingerly awaiting that twinge or ache to return and the ebb builds with every pain free step.

the rewards (if you can call them that) for time away from something you have spent a great deal of time on, is that you get to see things anew. discovering the grass beat down by the changing of the season. a new bridge completed by volunteers. trail work enhancing an overused area. even new construction in an area you have passed a thousand times and never noticed before until you saw the landscape reshaped by clearing and earth moving. in some ways, it's a re-dedication of sorts to your spirit. allows you to reappraise that which you usually take for granted from periods of overexposure.

it wasn't my longest run, but it was the best one of the year. i am sure those sharing the trail with me wondered what the fuck i was smiling at...i am not going to apologize. if i could share with them the last 6 months, maybe they would understand. maybe not.

it's good to be moving forward.