kissed by the sun

taking the pre dawn wake up in stride. grumpy, con chemicals is the mood. open window and 60 mph helps to clear the fog. sunrise reveals clear, beautiful peaks. turning down a hard to find dirt road and taking it until it ends. trail head looks like a deer trail that descends into the depths of darkness and is one way, only. deep breath, take the plunge. legs still pretty clapped from a weird run at smith rock that i've had a hard time recovering from. i stop to tighten a loose lace and take stock in the calm. leave a bottle and my shirt behind and continue down to the lake. sun rays starting to come through the trees descending upon trilliums. both of us opening up as we are kissed by the sun. mind clears of the bullshit and pleasure emerges; the spirit no longer a punching bag for inner demons.

the loop shows me beautiful mountains. clear lakes. flowers, mud and melting snow. the sun on my skin feels good and climbing back up towards the truck a few hours later, the trail doesn't seem so dark anymore. neither is my spirit. recovering, soaking in the day sitting on the tailgate watching chipmunks run around, playing is a fitting and ironic reminder not to complicate this

i know, but quickly reacquaint myself with the joy of doing this. my koan solved. take stock in why it gets buried beneath all the external so easily. easy to make excuses, put it off. decide before we head out the door about how the run is going to feel, etc. cloud it all up. no need, really. all the runs don't have to be epic. the stronger the foundation physically and spiritually, the bigger the house when the opportunity for the epics arrive. take the scoreboard down. leave the watch at home. don't worry about your kit. take ownership of the experience.