shiver

the dreams have been visiting me. chaos and silence. the night before had me hemmed up in local brew. plugging in the music while the cigarette smoke lingered outside the bike racks. the awesome 3 am burrito. despite the night, the dream returned, again...

okay. i hear you. stop whispering.

the gravel and moisture was wet enough to crunch. it was dark enough that the exhale was still visible. didn't take long for those to lengthen in tune with my stride. i came upon a raccoon still looking for a place to spend the evening. the climb warmed me, slowly. my eyes took the dew from the fog and captured it. lingering. face freezing despite the warmth and frost on my hat. my gloves were not quite enough to hold the cold at bay, but my core was warm. the higher i climbed, the more i found the rhythm. yes, yes. that's it. the steps got quieter, like running on eggshells. coming to the snowline i felt like i had the entire mountain to myself. i hadn't been here since the spring, when the journey was in sight...yet, it was inspiring to be back.

sometimes we have to look beyond expectation into ourselves. open our eyes and see that our state of health, happiness and circumstance in our lives have been, in large part, arranged by us. consciously or unconsciously.